SIX and FIVE

SIX: Mary Poppins 2
Alright, I guess directors just can't get enough of Julie Andrews. She's back in London, visiting Michael and Jane, who have both grown up, gotten married, and had naughty but sweet children of their own. Mary takes it upon herself to show these youngsters her magical world, but jumping into a modern day video game isn't the spoonful of sugar she planned. Bert must jump into the game to save them from the evil robotic monsters, which causes Mary to realize she and Bert should have been together all this time. The now older couple reunite on the rooftops of London and sing a reprise of "Chim-Chiminee." Modernizing this classic English tale doesn't provide the charm of the original. None of the melodies are as catchy and the unfolding plot is extremely slow. Sort of a Spy Kids meets Last Chance Harvey type deal. Without supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Disappointing.

FIVE: The Happening: The Winds of Tokyo
Supposedly, the only reason this film exists is because Mr. M. Night wrote the two screenplays as a pair, and they filmed the two at the same time. Now the studio doesn't want to waste all that money, so it might as well come to theatres. We all know where this one is going. All the scientists of America were wrong. It wasn't Mother Nature freaking out. It was really invisible microscopic Russian blowdarts. Russia, wanting to become the ONLY world power, began it's domination with the USA and has now moved to the next essential city - Tokyo. Same plot, but all in subtitles. Except that when the Japanese scientists figure out what's really going on with Russia, Russia just blows them up with nuclear warheads. Cliff ending. Weird.