Caught in the Act

Heck, I'll answer them all. That's why they call me Crazy Greg.

1. The straw's wife left him, he lost his job and his car broke down, all on the same day. That would be enough to drive most anyone to the bottle.

2. Waiting. For it to happen. Because it hasn't yet. And I don't see it happening. Ever. But still I wait patiently (in the spirit of the holiday).

3. Wait, never mind. I'm only answering the first two.

All right, your turn. I heard you were writing a script. What's it about?